Creativity

, , ,

Who me? A note on imposters syndrome...

, , ,

When the feeling of self doubt creeps in and you look around wondering when someone will ask you what you’re doing here…just remember that it isn’t real; it’s just a trick that your mind plays on you to see if you’re paying attention. I’ve had creative jobs in the past, especially when working as a performer, that have made me ask myself “can I really be getting paid to do this?” Sometimes it seems too good to be true, but just because it feels it, doesn’t mean it is.

For most of this year, I’ve been privileged to be part of a cohort of developing cultural leaders who are unbelievably brilliant, inspirational and passionate people. Sometimes I have caught myself in sessions wondering what I am doing amongst their ranks, feeling sure I was alone in feeling this nagging lack of self confidence. Over the weeks and months, everyone has revealed that they feel the same at various points in their working lives. Yes, even the ones that I would have had down as supremely self assured and confident. In these moments I have to remind myself that I earned my place there, just as they did, and have a right to feel proud of that achievement.

We all question ourselves and wonder what others see in us. We all make mistakes from time to time and think that we are alone. We’re not. We’re human and self doubt is normal. In those moments, when you feel like you’re in fancy dress, playing pretend and conning everyone around you, just think about all you achieved to get you to where you are. The small triumphs and the whacking great victories. It’s not just about what is listed on your CV, it’s about all the little things in between. The things you can’t write about. The connections and 4am light bulb moments. The learning you do when you’re not even trying. So long as we keep moving forwards with authenticity, sticking in our own lane, unafraid of what the people around us are doing, we will never be imposters. But perhaps feeling a little like we might be every now and again will keep us grounded enough to live and work with humility. Remembering and being grateful for our achievements as we quieten that negative voice in our minds.

, ,

Echoes of the past, echoes of the future...

, ,

Making creative work during lockdown has been exciting yet challenging for many artists and producers. How do you work collaboratively during a time you cannot share space? How can you create work which has social cohesion and participation at its core when you cannot gather a crowd? How do you make a living and support other artists to do the same when nothing is certain and spending is being tightened? I think the answer to all of these is tentatively and with no expectation of a definitive outcome.

As artists and producers we are malleable by nature. We respond directly to ever changing stimuli and output our findings in our medium of choice. We are adventurers, seeking out fresh and exciting ways to convey old and familiar ideas. Everything we do is a communication. Sometimes it is one way, leaving the audience to digest and ruminate in their own time…but what about when we need the two way dialogue and the feedback? How do we satiate that desire?

I’ve been so interested in the various ways that artists have reinvented themselves and their practice during this time. There has been so much more than just putting work online; it has triggered a wave of interesting propositions and invitations to experience new ways of working. It is possible that this enforced evolution will ripple out way beyond restrictions being lifted and will impact the creative sector in ways we wouldn’t have imagined 18mths ago.

Creative people are resilient; let’s hope that resilience brings swathes of interesting, self aware and safe to access work to immerse ourselves in as we continue to move out of this period. Let’s hope that we can continue to look after each other as well as be moved, inspired and entertained.