When the feeling of self doubt creeps in and you look around wondering when someone will ask you what you’re doing here…just remember that it isn’t real; it’s just a trick that your mind plays on you to see if you’re paying attention. I’ve had creative jobs in the past, especially when working as a performer, that have made me ask myself “can I really be getting paid to do this?” Sometimes it seems too good to be true, but just because it feels it, doesn’t mean it is.
For most of this year, I’ve been privileged to be part of a cohort of developing cultural leaders who are unbelievably brilliant, inspirational and passionate people. Sometimes I have caught myself in sessions wondering what I am doing amongst their ranks, feeling sure I was alone in feeling this nagging lack of self confidence. Over the weeks and months, everyone has revealed that they feel the same at various points in their working lives. Yes, even the ones that I would have had down as supremely self assured and confident. In these moments I have to remind myself that I earned my place there, just as they did, and have a right to feel proud of that achievement.
We all question ourselves and wonder what others see in us. We all make mistakes from time to time and think that we are alone. We’re not. We’re human and self doubt is normal. In those moments, when you feel like you’re in fancy dress, playing pretend and conning everyone around you, just think about all you achieved to get you to where you are. The small triumphs and the whacking great victories. It’s not just about what is listed on your CV, it’s about all the little things in between. The things you can’t write about. The connections and 4am light bulb moments. The learning you do when you’re not even trying. So long as we keep moving forwards with authenticity, sticking in our own lane, unafraid of what the people around us are doing, we will never be imposters. But perhaps feeling a little like we might be every now and again will keep us grounded enough to live and work with humility. Remembering and being grateful for our achievements as we quieten that negative voice in our minds.
